A Night With The Flat Head

The post in 2010 was before the military service, the one in 2013 was before Australia, the one in 2015 was before studying Film, the 2018 one was before making a feature film and also before coming back to Asia, and going to Beijing. Now, probably is before I begin working, and I took a long time before reaching this spot. Good Night. See you soon.

I guess, right now, I have told my stories to some of my friends over here. Over a cup of sake. Some of them love it. Those are very personal experiences and I will eventually put it into my narratives; then into the films I will be making, if I ever do make it.I won't say much in here, those tales are too long for this page. But again, some time has passed. I am back to being me; I should say. Philosophy, as it is.

Back Again

Unfortunately, I was right on my last post. I did take longer time to write in here again. My last post was 2 years ago and it was 3 years from the one before that. Somehow, just somehow, I got myself to write in here tonight. Time flies I had to say, and time is never on our sides, never. The short story I used to write was 9 years from now and I spotted so many grammatical errors in it. Nevertheless, I "re-learned" myself from there. As a matter of fact, we all hope to see the end, yes we do. After reading about possible technology and medical researches on lengthening human lives or reverse ageing, I thought to myself even more. I mean, it's not like I will stop thinking without reading the news, but it lead me to a different directions of thoughts. It always did; new ideas, new implications, new applications. The fear for the unknown has always been there for me, undoubtedly. It resurfaces recently, or rather a couple of weeks ago, thinking about the meaning of existentialism, or simply, death. I have troubled myself enough with it and now I am slightly better, at least I will not fall into despair or depression so quickly. I thought I will someday. For now, it's just my future film-making study and possible career that awaits me. I will live with it for now, maybe there won't be a cure, but I am still happy to know that we progressed, as a whole we progressed. Hopefully, I can utilise my concept into future short films and then feature length ones. Of course, at the end of the day, I hope to see the end as well...by living forever. Forever, I want to live. 

I realized the trend of my posts throughout these years, it just keep on decreasing every year til......the legendary "And then there none". I guess i do not need to mention that this is the first post in almost 3 years. I  might want to start with "It has been a long time". Might not be long enough. However 3 years during a still growing stage of a young man or an old boy can actually mean a hell lot of difference. I want to tell myself "welcome back". I wanted to make my return earlier than this but I did not. My friend said "you have come a very long way". Yes, and I know "that way" will be much longer indeed. More than a thousand days has past and I am on a different path, scenario or simple just an another chapter. Lastly, I am still alive, my world has not come to an end, not yet.

I would start by saying what i said on Sina's "tweeter" thing. Its another day, waiting in a ditch that i am planning to get out. We waited in our very own ditches and we all worried......but not everyone will walk out of it.....thats why u dont see everybody at the end of the field. .....I guess thats another sequel to my "waiting and walking" theory of life. Waiting in a ditch and walking out of it. And finally at the end.....There would be no need for ditches and of course, thats when you passed the last ditch in life, you "sublimate in your fox hole.......and you belong to nature again.......There goes the cycle.....there goes you. But now....concentrate on your current ditch please, don't think of the next when you have not walk out of this one. That is my philosophy

I'm telling you......Everything....has gone quiet.....lately..... Quiet as it is.....well, I hid those memories back into the shadows.....I throw those acessories....deep into the land of nowhere....and I wait upon the gleam of the next light......I put myself to sleep at last...for it is quiet now..........I whisper to myself and my blanket........its over now........Yes, long over it has been.......No more yesterday......Only today.......and the next light....Behold....as I lift my face up from the darkness........It would never be familiar to the world anymore......That is my philosophy

The way to getting what you really want, is about remembering. Do you remember? Once you get the right things going and knowing it is the path to the final destination.....you have to do it, besides the basic needs, eating and sleeping, you got to keep doing it.....moving, and say no to temptation......and you consolidate your spirit...... keep saying no to temptations and keep focusing.....everytime you do that, you are one more step closer to the impenetrable fortress which you will be...... Every human, who accomplished certain objectives.....always have their cause in mind..... kings...lords.... reminded themselves in different ways... asked people to shout at them everyday, living in bad conditions, held hazards above their heads......anything that is effective......or they can think of ......just to remind themselves....what are they here for......why are they here......Trust me......Sometimes it might not be that painful to live up to those standards.........And when you did it....... you would have all the worlds' confidence to stand up and claim it.........and when someone said that you aren't good.....at least you have a reason to shed tears......you have no shame. Only honour, awaits you........That is my philosophy